Free Food2 - Escape From Debt
by Krystal Anime
Summary: Moonbay and Irvine wake up married and in a huge amount of debt! Wait, did they destroy a town last night? - The long awaited sequel is finally here! Only took about 15 years in the making. Are you excited? Do you care?


Author's note: Aww yeah! The looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong awaited sequel is here! Only took 15 years in the making. You know it's going to be good! Just like Duke Nukem Forever! ;)

* * *

The morning sunshine shone in through the curtains.

Irvine shivered in his sleep and unconsciously searched for the covers with his hand.

He was fully clothed in his usual attire, and yet, the cool temperature in the room was beginning to seep into his bare arms.

Finally, he found the covers, bundled up in a cocoon behind him, and with one good yank, he pulled a corner out and placed it over his shoulder.

There was a muffled cry that followed the yank from the bundle behind him.

Irvine hummed apologetically and went back to sleep.

One second passed...

Two seconds ...

Three ...

Irvine's eyes flew open. He sat straight up, and immediately stared at the cocoon beside him.

Simultaneously, Moonbay freed herself from the suffocating grasp of the blankets to sit up and look straight at Irvine.

One nanosecond passed.

Moonbay and Irvine: "**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**"

Both of them jumped away and stood defensively off either side of the bed.

Moonbay: "Just what do you think you're doing sleeping in _my_ bed?!"

Irvine: "What are you talking about?! _You're_ in _my_ room!"

They suddenly glanced around the place and realized that something was quite different.

Moonbay: (glancing at the fancy furniture) "Wow, Irvine, since when did you become so rich?"

Irvine: (looking around, dazed also) "I don't know..."

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Irvine and Moonbay whipped their heads around to it.

Moonbay and Irvine: (waving their hands at the door) "WAIT! WAIT! We're not-!"

They suddenly look down at themselves.

Moonbay and Irvine: (realizing they're both fully dressed) "Oh ... nevermind!"

A man came in with a cart.

Man: "Your breakfast in bed, sir and madam..."

He lifted two silver trays to reveal eggs benedict, smoked bacon, and a bunch of other expensive stuff.

Irvine and Moonbay gazed hungrily at the breakfast, drooling.

Irvine: (suddenly realizing that they're in a hotel) "So ... is this, uh, complementary or something?"

Man: (laughs) "Oh ho ho no! This will be an extra $343.68 added to your bill."

Irvine and Moonbay turn very grim.

Irvine: (in shock) "Th-three hu-"

Moonbay: (grinning at Irvine) "Well, Irvine, I'm glad you're payin'! This is _your_ room after all!"

Irvine: (trying to beg the waiter to take it back) "Wait! I've ... uh ... decided we're going to eat breakfast elsewhere ..."

Man: "Well, I'm sorry sir, but you'll just have to put these trays in the refrigerator and eat it later ... of course using the refrigerator will add another $120 to your bill!"

Irvine: "NOOO! Why is it on _my_ bill? I didn't ask for this!"

Man: "Of course you did, sir. Both you and your wife requested breakfast in bed for this morning last night."

Irvine: (jaw dropped) "My ..."

Moonbay: "... **Wife?!**"

They looked at each other.

Man: (closing the door to excuse himself) "Have a good day, Mr. and Mrs. _Puupikins ..._"

The man quietly closed the door quickly to avoid being caught up in the newlyweds' quarrel.

Irvine: (whipping around to Moonbay) "Since when are we **married?!**"

Moonbay: "Don't look at me! I don't even remember what happened last night, much less that your last name was _Poopykins!_"

Irvine: "**It's NOT!**"

Moonbay: "Whew! That's a relief! It's not my maiden name either, by the way."

Irvine: (sighes)

Moonbay: " ... the last thing I remember was Dr. D not paying us after we caught those sleepers for him."

Irvine: "Yeah, and then he chased us away with his guards and mini-gravity-cannons."

Moonbay: "Yeah, and we found that restaurant with free food ..."

Irvine: " ... that's where my memory stops."

Moonbay: " ... mine too."

" ... "

Moonbay: "... There's only one, crazy person I know who could have set us up like this."

Irvine: (pissed) "... That stingy, frog-jumpsuit-obsessed, little bas-"

A knock interrupted him.

Irvine and Moonbay went over to answer it. There was another hotel person with a silver tray in his hand.

Another Man: (taking the lid off the tray) "Your bill, sir."

Irvine takes the bill and looks at it. He suddenly turns very white.

Moonbay: "How much does it say?"

Irvine slams the door on the man who's begging for a tip. One more incredulous look at the bill turns him a shade whiter.

Moonbay: "Irvine? ..."

Irvine: "... Grab the breakfast trays! We're escaping through the windows!"

He tosses the bill to her and heads over to begin making escape ropes out of the curtains. Moonbay glances at the total on the long receipt and turns a shade paler as well.

Moonbay: "_Coming, dear!_"

* * *

Van and Fiona were walking along inside the Republican base.

Van: "I can't believe Moonbay and Irvine got married!"

Fiona: (nodding) "Yes it was a little sudden, but I'm happy for them. I only wish I could've been there to catch the bouquet."

Van: (laughing cluelessly) "Catch their bouquet? Now why would you wanna do that?"

Fiona: (sweatdropping) "Hmm, I wonder ..."

Unaware of Fiona's last comment, Van suddenly shifted his attention to two figures running towards them. Once they came closer, Van could recognize, with disbelief, who the figures were.

Van: "Irvine? Moonbay?"

Fiona: "Hey what are you guys doing here?!"

Irvine and Moonbay: (putting fingers to their mouths) "Shhhhhh!"

Van: (lowering the volume of his voice) "What's wrong?"

Irvine: (whispering) "Dr. D got us into a little trouble."

Fiona: "Dr. D?"

Moonbay: (whispering also) "Yeah, he set us up and now we owe a _huge_ bill to some hotel!"

Irvine: "And what's worse, he registered us as a married couple under the name 'Puupikins'! This time he's gone too far!"

Van and Fiona take one look at each other and burst into laughter.

Irvine and Moonbay: (-.-|) " ... What?"

Van and Fiona: (continue snickering)

Irvine and Moonbay: "**What?!**"

Van: "You really don't know?"

Irvine and Moonbay: (o.O) "?"

Fiona: "Don't you remember? ... last night you got married and went to that elegant hotel to spend your honeymoon."

Irvine and Moonbay: (O.O)

Irvine: "Oh, I see, so you're in this together with Dr. D, aren't you?"

Fiona: "No, of course not ... What does Dr. D have to do with this, anyway?"

Moonbay: "He's the one who set it up to make it look like we were married, but we aren't, really."

Irvine: "Yeah, thank goodness for that."

Van: (smirking) "Oh, I don't know ... your call last night proved quite convincing ..."

Irvine: "_What_ call?"

Van and Fiona give each other that all-knowing look again, making Moonbay and Irvine even more uneasy.

Van: "Did you guys go out for drinks or something?"

Moonbay: "NO! Now tell us, WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?!"

Van: (trying to calm them down) "Don't worry, I have the entire conversation recorded, you can watch it on the vidscreen in my quarters-"

Moonbay: (impatiently) "No! I want to know NOW!"

Van: "Well, I suppose I could bring it up on the vidscreen here in the hall..."

Suddenly two other men come around the corner to meet them. It's Hermann and O'Connell.

Hermann: "Hey, Van, what's up?"

O'Connell: "Hey, look! It's Irvine and Moonbay!"

The two of them suddenly burst into laughter. Irvine and Moonbay have a sinking feeling that Van and Fiona weren't the only people who watched the recorded message.

Irvine: (grabbing Van by the collar) "You shared it with others?!"

Fiona: (tries to calm him down with reason) "Irvine, it was your request to broadcast it to the entire base."

Irvine and Moonbay: (O.O|)

Fiona: "Don't you remember? You called us last night from that hotel to tell us that you were _married!_. I'm so happy for you!"

Irvine and Moonbay: (look at each other) "It's **true?!**"

Van: (straightening out his collar after Irvine let him go) "Yeah, you said you went to a church out in the middle of a desert."

Moonbay: "..."

Irvine: "... I want a divorce."

Moonbay: "Same here!"

Van: (glancing at Fiona) "See? ... I told you it wouldn't last!"

Fiona: (sighes and dishes out some cash to Van)

Van: (looks at money victoriously) "Yeah! I won the bet!"

Moonbay: (eyeing the money in Van's hand) "Hey, um, Van? ... You wouldn't mind helping us out, would you?"

Van: "Huh? Sure. What do you need?"

Irvine: (hands Van the hotel bill) "This much."

Van: (glances at the total) "Whoa! They don't even give me that much _yearly!_ ... even though I saved the world and all ..."

Fiona: "Yeah, you should really talk to payroll about that, Van."

Moonbay: (begging) "Please, Van! We're completely broke and it's all Dr. D's fault! Can't you at least get them to drop the charges?"

Van: "Well ..."

Angry Man: "THERE THEY ARE!"

Everyone whips around to face the angry man and angry mob behind him.

Irvine and Moonbay: (O.O !) "GAAHH!"

Van: (looking at the mob) "You people wouldn't happen to be from the- " (He squints at Moonbay's bill) "_Hotelle de Snobbé_ ... would you?"

Angry Man: (dressed in overalls and missing some teeth) "Now don't you go talkin' all fancy-like on us, it ain't gonna work!  
Them people there trampled our village to the ground with them Rev Raptors!"

Moonbay: "WHAT?!"

Irvine: "We never did that! We kept the sleepers far away from any town or village while we captured them!"

Angry Man: "So ya _do_ own 'em! See, folks? Its just like Dr. D said!"

Angry mob: "Yeah!"

Irvine and Moonbay: (-.-|) "Dr. ... D?"

Moonbay: "I'm gonna **_kill_** him!"

She charges straight ahead, but Irvine stops her.

Irvine: (holding her back) "No, wait! Not _that_ way!"

Moonbay: (stops and realizes she's headed straight for the angry mob) "Oh yeah ..."

Angry mob: (aims their broken pitch forks at Moonbay and Irvine)

Moonbay: (holds up her hands slowly) "Eh heh ... This is all a misunderstanding. Dr. D is the badguy here!"

Angry Man: "Dr. D were just walkin' by after the mess you made in your Rev Raptors! He took pity on us and gave us monies. Then he told us **you** dun it!"

Angry mob: "YEAH!"

They aim their pitchforks closer.

Moonbay: (backs into Irvine, close enough so she can softly say) "Uh, honey?"

Irvine: "Yeah?"

Moonbay: "**RUN!**"

The two run down the hallway, with the angry mob chasing them. Van and Fiona look at each other and then chase after the mob.

O'Connell: (watches them all run away. Then turns to Hermann) "Hey, do you think we should have helped out there?"

Hermann: (shrugs) "Nah..."

* * *

Moonbay and Irvine make it outside and back to their zoids. Irvine hops into this Lightning Saix, while Moonbay heads for her Gustav.

Irvine: (calls to her) "Moonbay, get in the Lightning Saix! Your Gustav can't outrun them!"

Moonbay: (jumps into her Gustav and closes the hatch. Then keys the comm to talk to him) "I'm not leaving my Gustav behind! Besides, its withstood a direct blast from the Geno Saurer. It should be _fine_ against a few angry people."

The mob swarms her cockpit, banging on it with their pitchforks and rocking it. One guy presses the open-hatch button on the gustav ... and it opens.

Moonbay: O.o|

Irvine: "You forgot to _lock_ it?!"

The angry mob look menacingly at Moonbay.

Moonbay: (holds hands up) "Eh-heh, now, now, let's all be civil."

Suddenly a shadow looms over their heads. The mob backs away as the Lightning Saix reaches it's head down and noms Moonbay out of the cockpit.

The Lightning Saix takes off, leaping over the fence, far and fast away from the mob. Once it gained a good distance, Irvine slowed the zoid down to a stop. The zoid lowered and opened its mouth to release a frazzled Moonbay.

Irvine: (gets out of his cockpit to help her out) "Are you ok?"

Moonbay: O_O " ... have you ever ridden inside the mouth of a Lightning Saix before?"

They hear a commotion and Irvine turns to see the angry mob resuming their chase after them. This time, some had brought their own zoids.

Irvine: "I think it's time to go."

Moonbay: (Already in the passenger's seat, buckling in) "Way ahead of you."

Irvine gets in his seat, and keys the Lightning Saix to take off, leaving the mob in the dust.

Irvine: "I don't think I can keep running like this all day."

Moonbay: "Well ya know where we need to go then, right?"

Irvine: (nods) "To the source of our troubles."

Moonbay and Irvine: "WE'RE COMING FOR YOU, DR. D!"

The Lightning Saix growled.

* * *

Meanwhile, Dr. D was in his laboratory, counting up all his monies.

Dr. D: "I have so much money now, I don't know what to do with it."

Starving intern: "In that case, may I have a raise please?"

Dr. D: "Hah! No!"

Starving intern: (disappointed) "Aww ..."

Assistant: "Dr. D, there is a zoid approaching our base at high speed. We think it's the Lightning Saix."

Dr. D: (sips his coffee) "That's fine."

Comms Officer: "Dr. D, the Lightning Saix is not slowing down. If it keeps this speed it will ram into us in five minutes!"

Dr. D: (checks his display, which is running a casual game) "Uh huh ..."

Weapons Officer: "Dr. D, should we open fire on the Lightning Saix?"

Dr. D: (picks his nose) "Nah ..."

Starving intern: (glances sideways at the Weapons Officer) "Normally I'd ask why a laboratory needs a Weapons Officer, but this is only my first week here, and already this place is _so_ weird."

Dr. D: (ignores him and turns to the Comms Officer) "Open a channel to the Lightning Saix."

The woman carries out his command, and suddenly the room is filled with the battle cries of Irvine and Moonbay.

Irvine and Moonbay: "AAHHHH! WE'RE COMING FOR YOU, DR. D!"

Dr. D keys in some commands on his own console.

Irvine gets ready to fire at the laboratory, when his screens are suddenly overridden by a familiar green mascot.

Irvine: "What the-?!"

The Lightning Saix comes to a screeching halt, just outside the gate of the laboratory.

Moonbay: "What?!"

Dr. D: "**Sit!**"

The Lightning Saix obeys and sits down like a puppy.

Moonbay and Irvine are stunned and confused.

A Hammerhead zoid slowly rises from behind the laboratory. Dr. D talks to them over the comm channel.

Dr. D: "Did you two idiots forget who built your Lightning Saix?"

Moonbay and Irvine: -.-| "Oh yeah ..."

Dr. D: (puts his coffee cup nicely on a tea plate) "Honestly, I don't know why you're even here. Shouldn't you be enjoying your honeymoon by now?"

Moonbay: "Don't play dumb with us! This whole mess is **your** fault!"

Dr. D: (shrugs) "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Irvine: "Seriously, how much is this whole charade costing you? Wouldn't it have been cheaper to just pay us for the bounty?!"

Dr. D: (plays with some of his gold coins) "Oh but this way is more fun!"

Irvine: (grumbles)

Moonbay: "Hey Irvine, I don't know for sure since your consoles are hijacked, but doesn't that look like the same zoids the angry mob had?"

Irvine turned to look out the hatch window. Sure enough, a party of zoids was heading straight towards them.

Irvine: "Uh oh"

Dr. D opens a channel to all the zoids.

Dr. D: "Don't worry, as you can see, I have them detained for you!"

He taps a command on his console. The Lightning Saix's hatch opens. It tips it's head and Irvine and Moonbay plop out into the sand.

Moonbay and Irvine: "Oof!"

The angry mob park their zoids and get out, carrying their pitchforks. They once again surround Moonbay and Irvine, who hold up their palms.

Dr. D laughs maniacally.

Moonbay and Irvine stand back-to-back.

Moonbay: "Well, it's been nice knowing you, Puupikins."

Irvine: "I told you, that is NOT my last name!"

Suddenly, there is a commotion within the angry mob, and people give way as the the Blade Liger appears on the scene.

Irvine: "Oh thank the Zoid Eve!"

The Blade Liger comes to a stop. The mob is stunned. Everyone waits for the legendary zoid and pilot's next move.

There was a loud, high-pitched screech, that made everyone cover their ears. It ended almost as soon as it began. Then they heard loud tapping and a "Uh ... is this thing working?"

Fiona: "Yes it is. They can hear you, Van."

Van: "Oh right. Uh ... hi!"

Moonbay and Irvine: (losing hope) -.-|

Van: "Good news! Irvine, I got the hotel to drop the charges for you."

Irvine: " ... ok."

Moonbay: (seizes the opportunity and yells at the mob) "Did ya hear that?! Van's got lots of money! He's going to rebuild your town in **gold**, for **free!**"

Angry man: (who's less angry now) "He is?!" :D

Van: "Uh ..."

Another angry mob guy: "Hooray! Van's our savior!" :D

Van: "Um ..."

Whole angry mob: (cheering) "Van! Van! Van!"

Van: "Wait! I can't do that! I just spent all my money paying off their hotel debt. Now I'm broke too."

Fiona: (face palms) "Oh Van, you really need to take a finance class or something."

The angry mob's chants die down. Their disappointment and angry-ness reemerge.

Angry man: "Well, in that case, we can least git revenge for you destroyin' our town!"

Angry mob: "Yeah!"

Van: (just realizes) "Oh! I can help with that!" (he says on the loudspeaker).

Angry mob: ?

Van: "Hang on, this is new technology from Thomas, so it doesn't work quite right yet."

Somewhere, Thomas' ears were burning ... and he cried.

Van: "There!"

There was a click. Then a projector from the Blade Liger displayed a video in mid-air for all to see. It was the Rev Raptors destroying the town.

Van: "This was taken from a security camera. And right here ..."

Van paused the video and zoomed in to the forth Rev Raptor's cockpit, so they could all see the subtle marking on it.

Van: "That's Dr. D's Rev Raptor."

Dr. D: (spits out his coffee) "What? No its not!"

Fiona: "Yeah, it is."

Moonbay and Irvine: :D "**YES!**"

Dr. D: "How can you be so sure?"

Van: "That marking there. That's one you put on your Rev Raptor."

Dr. D: "That's a common marking. Moonbay and Irvine must have put it on their Rev Raptor to make it look like mine."

Fiona: "But at the time of the attack, Moonbay and Irvine were calling us about their marriage."

Fiona opened another file into the video player and the screen showed the intoxicated couple merrily announcing their new status, slurring every other word.

Moonbay and Irvine high-fived.

Van: "Besides, that's a very custom seal. If I remember correctly, Dr. D, you had it made out of solid gold to - what was your reason again? 'To show the pleebs whose boss?'"

Fiona: "Yeah I think that's what he said."

Dr. D: "_**Anyone**_ could have copied or stolen that seal and placed it on a Rev Raptor. And just because it is mine doesn't mean _I_ destroyed their town."

Angry mob: (looks up at Dr. D's Hammerhead) "Hmmm ..."

Dr. D: "I didn't! I _wouldn't_ destroy your town!"

Van plays the video some more to show the Rev Raptor cockpit open, revealing a maniacal Dr. D in it, laughing as the town is destroyed.

Dr. D: "Oh yeah, I did do that. I forgot. Hee hee. I just got so carried away with laughing maniacally that I decided to get some fresh air."

Angry mob: D: "So it was **YOU!**"

Dr. D: "In my defense, I was bored."

Angry man: "Git 'em!"

Dr. D: "Hah hah hah! You'll never get me! I'm in a flying zoid! Hah hah-"

**Boom!**

A missile hit his Hammerhead zoid.

Dr. D: "Eh-heh ... Oh yeah, you still have zoids ... with anti-air weapons ..."

The angry mob was getting back into their zoids.

Dr. D: (Yelling at his assistants) "Full speed! Get me out of-!"

The comm signal cut out as the Hammerhead took off to the west. The angry mob zoids followed, barraging it with projectiles.

Moonbay and Irvine and the Blade Liger watch the zoids move farther and farther away.

Moonbay: "Well, we still don't have any money."

Irvine: (smiles at her) "No, but at least we have sweet sweet revenge."

Moonbay: (smiles back at him) "Yeah."

They put their arms over each others shoulders as they watch Dr. D's plight fade away into the horizon.

* * *

Author: Yeah, I did that. OOC and all. Thank me or flame me in the reviews.

Peace out!


End file.
